A Bad Hair Day

It's inevitable; I'll go to a nice, quiet, family event (well, as nice and quiet as my family can be) and everything will be going just fan-freaking-tastic. In fact, I may even start to enjoy being there. But does that feeling last? NO, oh no.

For as that nice, quiet, moment starts someone asks the question:

"Why don't you donate your hair?"

...

......

.........

AAAAARRRGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It's always the same. I'll prepare myself for it, I anticipate it, I envision it happening. But I always seem to drop my guard a little bit, nay, a smidgen.

And that's when they pounce.

"Ooo, that’s a good idea!"

"Think of all the children you'd help!"

"I think I'll do it, too!"

"I knew someone who did it once..."

"I know! We should have it done together!"

"...it was the happiest moment of her life..."

"Is this Friday good for you?"

"...she died last week."

Before I have time to answer the original question, thirteen more are thrust upon me, making sure I have absolutely no time to answer any questions at all.

Then, because I'm awfully quiet for someone they've just asked a question of, the room goes silent. A swarm of faces turns similatiously towards me, anxiously awaiting my answers.

They actually assume I've heard all their questions.

Like anyone could hear themself think in this deafening horde of chaos.

Frantic to get them looking anywhere but at me, I stumble over the first sentence that comes to my mind:

"I...uh...hadn't given it much thought, really."

The room explodes again.

"B-but The Children!"

"There are plenty of people who'd love to have hair like yours..."

"It's only ten inches..."

"...Most of them cancer patients."

"All the little bald children!"

"...you'll have plenty of hair left over!"

…

……

………

I've said it once, and I'll say it again.

AAAAARRRGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If you think it's such a good idea, go right ahead! Who's stopping you!?!? Don't wait on my account, do it! 'Cause I can tell ya right now, I'm not cutting my hair just because you say I should.

If your friend had a great time doing it, good for her! She can hack her hair off as many times as she wants! But her happiness does NOT equal my happiness.

If you want to help the poor little cancer-ridden children, do it. Leave me to my own devices. I'll help the "poor little bald children" if I want to help them, and it'll be in my own way.

If there are soooo many people who'd love to have my hair, they can keep on wishing. If I can grow my hair on my own, they can too!

If you want to hack off ten inches of your own #&%*!? hair, then so be it! But my curls aren't yours to give away. Ten inches is still ten inches. I may be vain for saying this, but I like the length of my hair, and it's taken me years to grow it out this way. I will not hack it off for your sick, twisted, self-righteous fulfillment.

Bottom line: It's not your hair. Leave it alone.

Just back off, okay?

"I grow it on my own, so leave my hair alone!"