Sunday, April 24, 2011

Canadian Adventure: 2011

As a Nearly-graduated High School Senior, I am entitled to at least one field trip.

One that takes place during said school year

One that takes you out of state/country/safe house-located-on-the-outskirts-of-Mount-Etna

I recently went on such a trip.

A trip which took me to a  wonderfully exotic faraway place: CANADA!

Yes, Canada. The land of Hockey, Maple Syrup, and free Health care. A land comfortably located between The States and The North Pole.

But did I drop everything and anything; all the homework assignments, chores and lazy spring break mornings, to watch a Hockey game? No.

Was the comfort of my home abandoned for the sweet, sugary promises of Maple Syrup? Nyet.

Then I must have trekked through rain and sleet and hail, traveled the scenic countryside, for the glory of free health care, right? Nein.

I put off my homework, sacrificed my lazy mornings, abandoned my cats, and trekked the countryside of The US and Canada for The 75th Convention of The Junior Classical League...

A.K.A: A Latin Convention
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The convention itself was nice enough; The hotel was nice, the food was good, the school-turned-convention-center (St. George's) was beautiful.

But it was the people I went with, the freedom we had, and the 'foregin' sights that made the trip...memorable.
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Day One- Our utterly fantastical trip began where most trips do: at a transport station, in this case, a train. Now, this was my first time on any sort of non-self-motivated-form-of-transportation-besides-a-car, so I was pretty stoked. After quote, unquote, “Waiting for a train,” we hopped aboard the next Amtrak that passed by.

3 hours and a few bits of confusing paperwork later, we set foot on Canadian soil.

…and the foreign jokes began.

“Hey look! Canadian sky!”

“Canadian Street signs!” 

“Canadian Traffic cone!”

“Canadian Homeless guy!”

“OMG! Canadian Air!”

Short Bus #5 (our form of transportation for the rest of the weekend) was filled with the fanatic cries of to-many-hyper-high-schoolers-on-one-major-sugar-rush. It was not fun.

We finally arrived at our Hotel, The Cascadia, with minor headaches and major annoyances. Of course, the view was the best part:


With a view to die for waiting for us back at the hotel we trudged out to the Aquabus; a miniature ferry that took us to Grandville Island- The Canadian equivalent to Pike Place Market in Seattle. The most embarrassing moment of the weekend happened here:

Whilst pointing out the various sights to my group of friends, I carelessly point out a honey stand. The guy walking next to me didn’t see it that way. You see, as I pointed out the honey stand I said, in a little-than-louder-than-normal voice “Honey!” The guy whirled around to stare directly at me, mistakenly assuming  that I was his honey. Which I am not.

We ended the night at the Aquatic Centre- Holy crap that was huge. The building was unnecessarily large, but fun to play in. As a group, we convinced the more hydrophobic members of our group to jump off the 5 meter diving board. My tankini top was almost lost in the process, and I nearly drowned, but I enjoyed it.
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Day Two- Convention time. We all piled back into Short Bus #5 that took us to St. George’s School for Boys.

Now, at these conventions there are always opening statements and the veterans (A.K.A. the seniors who’ve gone to these before) were not looking forward to them.

However, this year wasn’t that bad, as our speaker had a Can-asian accent, which made him easier (and more entertaining) to pay attention to.

During our stays at other schools the general layout never really changed; cafeteria on the lower floor, classrooms above it (if the school was more than one floor), and the locker rooms somewhere obscure.

Not in this school, nothing was where you thought it would be. The cafeteria? Right there as you walked in the door. The classrooms? Most of those were buried beneath the school, splayed out in a labyrinth-esque  fashion. The locker rooms? Holed away by the ceramics room, blocks away from the swimming pool.

So, after our great adventure; in which we got lost no more than 3 times, and walked around the school at least 7, we finally returned to the sanctity of our hotel room.

Only to realize we were famished.

Not wanting to risk the streets of Vancouver alone, we rounded up a bunch of freshmen girls (the best kind if distraction) to make a Slurpee run.

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Day Three- Nothing exciting happened until it was time to leave, so I’ll just skip to lunch time.

Long story short? We grabbed out complimentary lunches and got the hell out of dodge. Of course, everybody traded with everybody else. And yet, nobody wanted their apple.

We arrived at the train station at 2:00…only to find that the train didn’t leave until 5:45

So, we wandered around Vancouver for 2 1/2 hours.

>>>Fast forward two and a half hours later>>>

Finally, it was time to get on the train.

Canadian customs? Very nice.

American customs? Not so much. Insanely grumpy, actually.

Next time I leave the country? Remind me not to come back.

...legally anyway.
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The rest of the trip was a longer-than-usual-train-ride and with a brief incident at the border, in which a girl in our group panicked when border patrol inspected our paper work, we were back stateside by 7:45!

Finally returned home at 9:00-ish.

I still don't remember falling asleep that night, but when I woke up, I was half off my bed with my luggage half-unpacked and exploded all over the floor.

And that, my friends was my Canadian Adventure.

Now who's up for some hockey?

Hey! Look guys! Canadian Oprah!

Friday, April 15, 2011

Life Lessons From Dad

Just went to Fred Meyer with dad...I leave him alone for three minutes and he finds someone he knows. I, of course, hang back. Cause, lets be honest; I dont really wanna meet dad's friends from work.

Later, I ask him who his friend was. His reply; "Oh, that wasn't a friend. Thats was just someone I gave a citation to." "Wow, dad. Are you this friendly with all the people you give tickets to?" "Actually, about 75% of the people like me...I don't even remember his name."

Moral of the story:
                 Ask people for money, they'll like you more.


That being said...
Got a buck I could borrow?

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Fun With Disney Lyrics

Let's get down to business                
Show me everything and tell me how          
Don’t try to hide it now     
No matter how your heart is grieving, If you keep on believing
Your dreams will come true.

I have often dreamed
Of a far off place
Where a hero's welcome will be waiting for me 
But suddenly an angel has smiled at me
And now that I'm at it again
I remember Daddy told me:          
You’ve been pushed around by your mother and your sister and your brother.
And if you was married
You'd be pushed around by your wife
But in your future, the you I see               
Makes my dream come true
Now, give me the secret, mancub. 


What can you expect from filthy little heathens?
For whether we are white or copper skinned.    
They'll fall in love, and here's the bottom line: 
The second star to the right, Shines in the night for you          
Now gypsy, it’s your turn
After all, what is idle blabber for?
Come on, they’re not all that impressed with conversation
Men want girls with good taste
Calm
Obedient
Who work fast-paced
With all the strength of a raging fire
Mysterious as the dark side of the Moon        

Tell me, princess, now when did you last let your heart decide?  
Why should I care?
I may not have a dime    
But you'll be rewarded
When at last I am given my dues       
And to every being of every kind
It is discombooberating  

How can there be so much that you don’t know?  
Look at this trove
Treasures untold
How many wonders can one cavern hold?
Looking around here you think     
Shes been dreaming of a true love's kiss
And a prince she's hoping comes with this  
'cause everything else is obsolete.       
And you don't know why
But you're dying to try    
It’s up to you how far you go         
If you don’t try you’ll never know   

It's not enough to take the one you love for granted
You must remind her, or she'll be inclined to say:         
Boys, what you're hopin' for will come true             
If your heart is in your dream
No request is too extreme  
So don't you sit there slack jawed, buggy-eyed,
I'm here to answer all your mid-day prayers     

Who is that girl I see
staring straight back at me?       
This vampire bat
This inhuman beast
She ought to be locked up
And never released
The world was such
A wholesome place until   
Like a beacon in the cold dark night 
A star is born.   

But how to make her see? 
This is what makes life divine
I'm all aglow
And now I know

That's what makes the world go round




...and they lived happily ever after